Pregnancy feels familiar...

Who here remembers that phase in my life where I shaved my head, gained a lot of weight and pumped my body full of toxic drugs? Ah yes, that time I danced with the C word. Cancer! Yes I'm sure you all remember that, I pretty much shoved it down your throats with my blogs and pictures. But I was just keeping it real for y'all. Now you are probably asking yourself what does that have to do with being pregnant? Well besides the fact it is a tiny miracle that between mine and my husbands radiated and medicated pasts that we could even create a human, but how reminiscent all these doctors appointments are.

Here we are again seeing the doctor so frequently, blood tests left and right, vitamins, iron deficiencies, fatigue, constipation, diarrhea. I would say vomiting but I did get lucky and not get any of that with chemo or pregnancy! Its my bowels that take the hit. Hey you know me, never one to shy away from the truth no matter how crude.

Besides the similar symptoms being pregnant also has similar limitations. And I want to clarify that I am in no way comparing my little bean sprout to having a tumor or two. I am simply pointing out similarities as they were intriguing to me. For example the easy one was of course no alcohol. Although I did cheat on that one during chemo, it helped my white blood cell count! Science. I have to eat healthy foods. Thoroughly cooked foods. No raw sushi or undercooked meat. Lots of water. Try to stay active for as much as your body allows. You know, the usual.

Again before someone thinks I'm comparing the large plum in my belly to the bulky tumors in my chest I am not. I love the little thumb sucking magic bean and am thankful for it everyday.

As my belly grows and my body stretches the body pain reminds me of 2014 chemo pains. Its like a whole body ache occasionally. Most of the time I am plagued with back pain and migraines. Luckily my doctor prescribed me massages. These don't seem to really help but I'll take a relaxing massage covered by insurance any day. The best medicine seems to be a cup of coffee (doctor said it was okay) and some yoga.

With that note I think I am starting a new book in my life, not just a chapter but a whole new book. This part of my life is not over but it is in the past and one I want to move forward from. I will be starting a new blog for this next book. A new story to follow. A new set of crude gruesome stories, and probably a lot of cute motherly stories as well.

Hope to see you there!!

"Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny." -C.S. Lewis.

Out Living It...A week in the Outer Banks

Here we are a few days from my 3 year chemoversary, well 3 years since my last chemo. Is that the chemoversary? I guess I can make my own rules on what I want to celebrate and what those celebrations will be called. Anyways, here we are, a few days away from my 3 year chemoversary and I have just returned from a grand adventure where I was Out Living It!

I spent the week in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Sun beating down on my pale Washington skin. Hot sand in-between my toes and a salty ocean breeze blowing through my hair. A 3 story beach house with a glorious view of the east coast filled with strangers. Thats correct I spent a week with complete strangers. I disappeared from the real world and entered into a summer wonderland with fellow strangers seeking the same adventure. Introduced with newly discovered nick names but feeling I knew these strangers deep down. I may not know their real names but I know these people. These are not strangers after all! How can 10 people fill this beach house and yet I feel right at home? Well we all have one thing in common that links us in a deep way. We are all young adult cancer survivors and fighters. 

First Descents is what brought us all together and I can't thank them enough. My week spent in the Outer Banks of North Carolina was life changing. We may have arrived feeling depressed or defeated. We may have arrived feeling scared and weak. We may have arrived with determination in our hearts or perhaps hope for some magic. No matter how we arrived I think its safe to say we all left with a new sense of life and adventure. 

My new friends and I learned to surf, most of us for the very first time. The amazingly patient people at Farm Dog Surf School taught all of us some amazing skills. Taught us Don't Just Lay There and Take It! Taught us to paddle paddle paddle. Taught us to stand on our own two feet in imperfect conditions. Taught us to not give up because there will be another wave and you can try again and again. Then theres that first moment you jump up, your toes grip the board and you feel the power of the wave push you along. The air blowing in your face, the surreal moment when you are flying over the water.  Then you let your high carry you down to the water in slow motion. Just to paddle paddle paddle and do it again. 

I know I pushed the limits of my body. By the end of the week my already brittle knees were throbbing from all their hard work. My pale pacific north west skin was crispy and red. My desk job arms used muscles they didn't know existed. But I survived. I made it out stronger than when I went in. Physically and mentally. 

Each amazing day after surfing was spent hanging out with my new friends and the staff who put this all together. The staff was amazing, they cooked, they talked, they lead great conversations and activities. It was a safe, comfortable place. There were times when we went from laughing to crying. These people became my tribe, my friends, my family. Cancer perk I guess. 

Someone (Ruh Roh) had mentioned in one of our great talks that he would tell people, "I hope you get cancer." Not to wish the illness on others but the feeling that comes after the diagnosis. The feeling that life is to be lived. The Hakuna Matata feeling, no worries. I didn't totally feel that after my diagnosis. But after my eye opening week I feel liberated. I feel like I need to be Out Living It more. I need to worry less and adventure more. Even if that means just taking a weekend trip to visit my tribe. 

I wish you all could feel the high I had during my week in the Outer Banks. I forgot about real world troubles. I forgot about all the small things that were boggling my mind. I forgot about my desk job and what would be waiting for me when I returned. I just let the ocean air clear my mind and the lovely words of friends flow in. 

Here we are back to the real world and I am trying to live by the Don't Just Lay There and Take It motto of the previous week. You should do the same.

Yours truly, 

Klassy

Less About Cancer, More About The Future

I read a cheesy internet article recently that quoted something Tom Hanks said, "I hope the president-elect does such a great job that I vote for his re-election in four years." Now why would I start a posting in my cancer blog with something presidential? Because its positive in a world of negativity.

As we edge closer and closer to inauguration day my fear of what is to come increases. Not only because of the soon to be president but the things that are already at jeopardy. Like Healthcare. I have been lucky enough to be employed by companies that provide healthcare but I have plenty of friends and family that do not. They relied on the Affordable Care Act to help them through their cancer treatments. Without it many would not have made it.

I will admit I am not a very informed American when it comes to this stuff. I research what I need to and what I want to. So I will not preach about things I have no knowledge on. I do know what I have seen and witnessed and that is a world that is crumbling around us. Not just because of who we chose to lead us but how we treat each other.

I lived in fear for almost a year while I was battling cancer. I didn't know if I would live to see another year let alone another presidential election. But here I am 2.5 years cancer free. I still live in fear of relapse but that is something I am working on. Instead of worrying if I will get cancer again I think about what adventure to go on next. But lately I find myself worrying about my future not because of cancer but because of people.

A day does not go by where I don't hear, see or read about hate crimes, shootings, stabbings or any violent or criminal act. It is being shoved down my throat. It has me down right scared to do anything. I don't want to live a life in fear that the person in the car next to me might have a road rage fit and decide to ram me off the road or follow me home.

Bottom line is I want us to all get along. I want us to hope that our president does good things and amazes those who voted against him. I want him to succeed as he is our leader and well, he's the Pilot. If he crashes we all go down with him. Instead of blaming each other and hating on those who had different opinions, lets hope for the best. Everyone cannot win and you cannot please everyone. It happens every election, every day, in every life. You lose sometimes but thats why you become a good sport and just try harder next time. Hey I got cancer at 24 and was not pleased, I focused on the end result which was me making it out alive. Thats what we have to do, focus on the happy ending and do your best to make it happen.

Say hi, give a compliment, do a good deed and pass it on. We only get one life, lets make it a good one!