Monday, November 16, 2015

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Here we are again! Its been a long time since my last post. I have just been busy getting back to real life and getting back on track. I have had a lot of time to ponder things and life and changes and people. I have recently been through some big events in my life. One as you all know was a cancer diagnoses and most recently I have gotten engaged! As you all know a lot of my previous blogs were about me dying alone, which was almost true. But here we are 1.5 years post chemo and I am engaged. Who would have thunk it!

Now this gets me to one of the many things I had pondered. I of course started my planning right away and one of the major things is the guest list. I bought a book on wedding planning and it gives you a break down on how to pick guests but even with that it is hard. We are planning a smaller wedding and so we have to be picky with our guest list. But upon licking the envelopes to send out the save the dates, I realized I had a much smaller pile than my fiancé'. Is he cooler than me? (He is pretty cool!) One of my excuses was that I had moved away from my home town and lost touch with people. But that couldn't be it because he had done the same thing at the same time. Bottom line is he probably is cooler than me and is better at keeping in touch with people. But I also remember while going through my diagnosis I was miss popular! Where did all those people go? I had messages and texts and letters on a daily basis. And now that I am better and happy and living life with no sign of cancer all the people have vanished. Was I the hot fad of the season? Was I the juicy gossip at the time? Was I that charity case that everyone wanted to know about?

After I didn't die and my hair grew back the people faded away. They moved on to the next big thing. But when I announced that I will be getting married....those people were no where to be found. I guess that just teaches me a lot about people in general. You can interpret how you will. I guess that could be taken a few different ways. But to me it shows people care about your worst times to make themselves feel better. But when it comes to someone else's happiness they don't care. That is ok. In the end I know who is truly there for me in my best and worst times and that is a pretty good gift to come out of all of this.

Cheers to those people who have been around thick and thin, bald and hairy! You the real MVP!!