Bricks have been lifted...

I am getting closer and closer to being done with this journey. I had my progress pet scan almost a month ago and the results were good. My doctor had advised me that it was almost all gone. Of course I was hoping to hear "You are cancer free," but that didn't quite happen. Nonetheless it was good news and I was happy. However another worry was thrust upon me and that was the idea of radiation after chemo. From what I knew that opened a whole new can of problems so my mind began to run wild. Well since my Oncologist wasn't comfortable answering those questions he referred me to the Radiologist that looked at my scans. 

That leads us to today. Today I had a consultation with the Radiologist. My mind was swarming with questions for the past month. I of course assumed the worst would happen if I did radiation. Such as secondary cancers, lung problems, heart problems among many other things. My major concern was breast cancer. I had done research on it and it looks worse than what I have already gone through. I figured it would be a for sure death sentence a few years after beating Hodgkin's. Today the radiologist put my fears to rest. First he stated that he is confident that after chemo the cancer will be completely gone. Which is GREAT! Then comes the tricky part, will radiation be beneficial for me if all the cancer is gone? He stated that there are studies that show yes and studies that show no. So he will be doing research and getting second and third opinions from him colleagues in the next month to see what I should do. He thinks that I may not need radiation. Which I hope because that would be one less thing to worry about, maybe. 

If I do need radiation then I am at high risk of getting breast cancer within the few years after radiation. He said that it will not be the end of my life though. They will watch me very closely so the first sign of breast cancer they can act on it and take care of it. So if worst comes to worse I end up boobless in a few years but hey, I will hopefully still be alive. Of course anything could still happen but I guess at this point I am more confident that I have a future. He is confident I could live another 60 years. I have been scared that my life is over. I have been having a hard time getting excited about the future thinking it will be consumed by cancer forever. But at this point I am happy that I can have a normal life soon! One day at a time I guess. 

My point that I was trying to get at was even though almost a month ago my Oncologist said I am almost cancer free it wasn't until today that I realized I really kicked cancers ass!! Five long, hard months that I would never wish on anybody and I came out alive. I still have two more chemo sessions to go but I GOT THIS! I feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted off of me. I can breathe now. I feel like I can do anything I want to. I am ready to take the bull by the horns. I will have my health back in less than a month. I cannot wait. You have no idea. 

On another note. I just want to say that I am not sorry if you are offended by my new fundraiser shirts. They say FUCK CANCER. And? FUCK CANCER! You are only offended because you have not been there. If you fight and win you too will say FUCK CANCER and be proud of it. I appreciate all those who are supporting me. I am excited I kicked its ass. Cancer is a mother fucker. 

In case you want to get a cool shirt click below! 
TEAM KRAFT T SHIRT FUNDRAISER


“Don't fear death, fear the un-lived life"
~Tuck Everlasting