Pulmonary Toxicity...

Here I am counting down the days to my last chemo. Yesterday I had my second to last chemo. These last few treatments seem to be taking forever. The days go by slower than a snail. For some reason I was dreading this last chemo. I don't know why but I was just getting extra anxious and had bad feelings about it. It was already pushed back an hour due to short staffing. Everyone was wishing me luck which never happens. I just felt off about it. Well sure enough it was an interesting chemo. 

At first my port, Portia, was giving us trouble. 30 minutes later and me laying back, leaning forward, putting my hands up and down, sticking my right leg in and out and shaking it all about, I turned around and did the hokey pokey and still nothing. They then tried to access it with a bigger needle had me lean forward and cough and BOOM we have access! They sent off my blood to get tested and make sure everything is still normal. After an hour they realize my blood got lost in transit, so I had to wait even longer. 

Well then they ask if I have anything new going on and I advised that I have had a cough for a few days. Only when I take deep breaths. This is pretty serious so they run some tests, listen to my lungs and make me walk around the hospital while breathing heavily and checking my oxygen levels. Everything seemed to be fine but they still felt it necessary to call the doctor that was on call yesterday. She seemed concerned and decided to come see me in the infusion ward. She does the same tests and asks me questions and then leaves to talk to my nurse. He comes back and states we are going to skip the Bleomycin, which is the B in my ABVD chemo cocktail. Turns out the Bleomycin can cause fatal lung damage. So they were taking my breathing issues very seriously. They scheduled me to get a Pulmonary Function Test before my last chemo to check if my lungs have been damaged. I just had a PFT test a month ago and my lungs were perfectly fine. The Bleomycin can cause damage over night. But because I am so close to being done that if I do need to skip the Bleomycin again it would not make a difference in my cancer treatment. 

As I am so close to the finish line I feel my body slowly giving out. Its pushing along and doing its best to keep me healthy but there is only so much a body can endure. But I am almost there and I plan on treating my body like the queen it is once I am all better. I am just so excited to almost be done. Chemo really does suck. It is not fun at all. This cancer has stripped me of everything that was once Jessica Kraft. I feel like a totally different person, mentally and physically. I just can't fully explain what this experience has done to me. I hope if anything I have changed for the better. 

"When you are through changing, you are through."