A Little Bit of Everything...

Hello TEAM KRAFT

So first I want to talk about my doctors and nurses here in Washington per request of a friend. Let me tell you right away that from my experience healthcare professionals are much better out here than they were in California. In California I was misdiagnosed a few times and treated like I didn't matter. When I came out here from the beginning when I saw a primary doctor he seemed really interested in my story and my health. That was the start of my cancer diagnoses. They rushed everything and kept me updated. When I first had a CT scan and was told I would need a biopsy my doctor called me to let me know and he seemed genuinely concerned. He then put his nurse on the phone who said she pulled some strings with a surgeon she used to work with that could do my biopsy ASAP. I was so surprised they went out of their way on their own to set that up for me. I was starting to feel like a celebrity. After the tests were done and it was confirmed I had cancer a few weeks down the road, my primary doctor called me to wish me a Happy New Year and good luck with my treatments since I wont be seeing him for a while. How nice is that? I couldn't believe it. After that I started dealing directly with my Oncologist and he too called me at home to give me personal updates and see how I was doing after certain tests and treatments. California doctors and nurses don't care, once you left the office you left their mind. The nurses at the infusion center are great as well. They are chatter boxes and love to talk and give you tips and tricks while dealing with chemo. I guess me moving out here happened for many reasons, one being my cancer diagnoses and treatment. I believe that if I still lived in California I would still be undiagnosed and slowly dying. I don't have a whole lot to talk about regarding my doctors just that I felt like a celebrity. 

Next I want to talk about weird things that have been happening to me. It is about a week since my third treatment. Of course my hair is still falling out. I figured with all the hair I have lost so far that I would be bald but not quite. There is A LOT of hair on my head. But now it does look like I have really thin hair and a few bald spots. Also my gums have swollen and my mouth is more tender. My foot also is having a weird sensation that makes me think my phone is vibrating but its actually just my foot. That can't be good. Ill have to mention that to my doctor. Don't worry I have a list of questions for my doctor, I see him on Thursday. Also I have lost all my energy its ridiculous. Man oh man cancer is something else. 

So I heard about that movie coming out in June, The Fault In Our Stars. Its about two teens that have cancer and meet at a support group. Anyways, I went and bought the book and nearly read the whole thing in one night. I plan on finishing it tonight. My goal was to snag a hottie in a support group or treatment or something so I am living vicariously through this book, for now anyways. Man being single is easier when you don't have to worry about surviving the next few months. It would be nice to go on date before I die, I guess I'll just have to survive this thing so I can go on dates again. I am going to be 25 in 2.5 weeks and I had a completely different picture of what my life would be like right now. A few years ago I had hoped I would be married and ready to start a family by now. Then after being single so long I decided I would be at least in a committed relationship and have a dog or something. I went from a strong, independent girl with a good job and new car and great apartment living a great life to a girl with no apartment in an unfamiliar city with cancer, not working and stuck at home. WHAT HAPPENED??? I feel like I took a huge step back in life. I had it all and couldn't want anything else. I HAD to move to Seattle. I HAD to start a new adventure. I HAD to get cancer. Darn me for being so gumptious! (Gumptious is a word, I looked it up because my computer is telling me its not a word, I think I am smarter than you computer, DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO COMPUTER!) Its okay sometimes to move forward you need to take a step back. 

 I need to meet an Augustus Waters. That would be pleasant and eventful in my uneventful life. Is it bad that a girl just wants someone to snuggle with and hold her hand when shes not feeling well? Someones shoulder to rest my tired head on after an emotional day filled with worry and he can kiss my forehead and make all the pain and sadness go away. Where is that? Oh wait I don't need a man I have my cats. If I were healthy and free and at a point I wanted to be at, I would not ache for another human being to share my time with. Why? Because I would be out enjoying life. Dancing with guys at the bar. Flirting with strangers. Have good, clean, young fun. I would be my independent and free self! But because I am bound by this cancer, tied up with worry and handcuffed to sadness, it makes me wish I had someone to share this time with. Maybe if I lived back in California with all my friends I wouldn't feel so lonely. When you have cancer I strongly suggest you don't become cancer, don't pull away from people. People and contact and friends will be the best thing for you. I sit alone with my thoughts all day and they are the like the uninvited, awkward people that show up to a party. They are unexpected and to be nice you say hi and then they think you are best friends and linger around you all night ruining your vibe. Does that happen? Oh well. I am forced to deal with my thoughts because I left my home to start a new adventure. Its okay I have some great friends I have daily text convos with that keep me sane!! THANK YOU! 

Also I started the "FIGHT LIKE A CRAZY CAT LADY" Tshirt fundraiser again. Feel free to snag a shirt and join TEAMKRAFT!

TEAM KRAFT


After writing all that I need a NAP!