First they need to access my port in my chest to draw some blood for blood tests and make sure I am healthy enough to essentially get poisoned one more time. But before they access my port they numb it. The numbing meds burn pretty bad, it seems they should numb you before you get the the numbing meds. My port seems to be further in my chest than the nurses think so the first few times I needed to get poked twice till they found the right size needle. Now I let them know in advance that they need a bigger needle. To access my port they pretty much just press on me really hard with a needle till they feel it go in. It has to be done correctly and all the way in because if any of the chemo meds leak out, well that could kill me. So once the port is accessed they flush it with saline which tastes horrible. Thats why in most of my pictures you can see me sucking on a lollipop. After the saline they take two tubes of blood and send it off to get tested. As of the last two times my white blood count has been low meaning I have no immune system. So I have to be very careful when I go out or do anything because if I get sick, I will be down for the count. My doctor has let me continue with chemo the last two times even with no immune system because as they put it, I am otherwise healthy and young and they don't want to skip a chemo when there is a GREAT chance they can cure me and get it done fast.
I apologize for errors or run on sentences but I am feeling pretty ill right now but I woke up with the need to write this blog. I am hoping my Prochlorperazine kicks in here soon and gets rid of this nausea.
After they get the call that we can continue with my chemo then we get started with the pre meds. These consist of four meds that are supposed to make getting chemo easier. One of them is benedryl with makes me so tired that my eyes hurt to stay open but also hurt to be closed so I am left in this weird squinty limbo which hurts as well. Then I get some sort of steroid which makes my lady parts burn for a few minutes. Then I get Zofran which is like an anti-anxiety and anti- nausea med which makes my throat feel really dry and hurt and it makes me panic every time that my throat is closing up. Then I get something else but by the time I get that I am too tired and panicky to remember what it is.
So after all that its time to start the real medicine. First is the Adriamycin which is "The Red Devil." This medicine looks like red kool aid. It is so bright red its silly. This is the medicine that causes my hair to fall out. It is in a syringe that is pushed into my port over 15 minutes. Next is the Bleomycin which I had to get two test doses for because people get allergic reactions to it. Lucky me I am not allergic. But the test doses took a few minutes then I had to wait an hour to see if I had any adverse effects then when nothing happened I would get the rest of the dose. After that is the Vinblastine which is another syringe pushed over a few minutes into my port. Then the last one is the Decarbazine which is slowly dripped into my port over the period of an hour. This is ABVD. After all that I need to get an iron infusion as well. Iron is a nasty brown black thing that is pushed into my port over a few minutes but it tastes weird as well. The Adriamycin and the iron make my pee some dangerous looking colors for a lil bit. But that's all normal.
So after all of this its is about 3 or 4 oclock PM. I am tired and just feel worn out. I go home and either take a nap or feel completely fine. Tuesday my mouth starts to feel weird and I kinda lose my taste buds. Wednesday (today) I get very bad nausea and just feel not good. I am also very lethargic over the next few days. Then about a week before my next appointment I am feeling back to normal and anxious to go do things, but I cant. Then a day or two before my next appointment I start getting sick at just the thought of chemo. Or anytime I think of chemo I get sick for that matter. The books say that's anxiety about getting chemo. I can only imagine by the time I am done with this that I will vomit if I go anywhere near a hospital.
Well thats a day in the life of chemo. Not so fun. Below are pictures of the port and how it works.
Just a thought to take away with you today. Cancer is more common than you know. More people are effected by it than you know. Healthy people can get cancer. You are never too young or too old. Cancer is not contagious. It is exhausting. There is no such thing as "good" cancer. Cancer doesn't always end when treatment does. Cancer is not a death sentence. Cancer doesn't look the same on everyone. Just because someone doesn't look sick doesn't mean they aren't. No one wants cancer. No one asks for it.
I didn't think cancer would happen to me but it did. I am fighting for my life everyday now. I am fighting to have a normal life after all this is done. Will it happen? I sure hope so.
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”
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