Halfway there...

Today was my halfway mark of my original chemotherapy plan. Halfway through this mess. Halfway to being reborn. Halfway to starting all over. Today my doctor said I had reached an exciting time in the process. I am halfway and its almost time for that PET scan to see how I am doing. In approximately 5 weeks I will take a test that will either make or break me. I could get the best news of my life that I BEAT CANCER, or I could get the news that the battle is yet to be won. Either way it will be an emotional day. I get emotional just thinking about it. The next month cannot go by fast enough. 

Chemo is becoming annoying. It seems that getting the chemo feels worse than the days that follow. The pre meds kick my butt. The thought of it grosses me out. I can't wait for the day that this is all over. I want to cry just thinking about it. I want to be done. I want to not feel nauseous. I want to not feel gross. I want to not be lethargic. I want my body to not be sore and achey all the time. I want my old body back. 

My doctor says I am handling chemo really well. I haven't lost all my hair which is nice. It still falls out here and there but I think peach fuzz grows in as some falls out. The second week after chemo I feel almost normal which is great! And lucky me after 3 months without a period, it showed up. The doctor said most people don't get their period while on chemo but LUCKY ME, I do. Most people lose weight during chemo but LUCKY ME I have gained a few pounds. But I guess things could be worse. Other than a few lazy days I feel well most of the time. 

Today was the first day I got a feeling that I could actually beat this. My doctor said that I have a 95% chance of being cured. And a great chance that after my 12 chemo treatments I wont need radiation or additional chemo. I guess after my PET scan we will know for sure. It's exciting to have a feeling that I could actually beat this! I have a good chance. I just want to know already!!! 

This experience has taught me a lot. It has taught the people around me a lot. I don't know why I got cancer, what the meaning behind it is but I can take solace is knowing that my loved ones have learned something. Or taken something positive out of all of this. I know I have helped a lot of people in some way or another, and that makes all this seem....like it has a purpose. I know I will be a better person after all of this. And I cant wait for what my future has to hold.

I think I wrote about this before but I just wanted to once again say that life is short. Accidents happen, people get sick, things happen so while you have the chance tell the people you love that you love them. Tell people how you feel, what do you have to lose? Enjoy life. Love life. Do your best and stop to smell the roses once in a while. 

I also wanted to say thank you to all the people that are supporting me. It has really surprised me at how many people have shown support. Its a heart warming feeling to know that you all care about me. And it really helps me to stay positive during all of this. So thank you all!