It spread like wild fire...

As of last night only a select few were aware of my diagnoses. I wasn't sure how to tell people or if I even wanted them to know. How do you tell friends and family you have cancer? Just shoot them a group text like "Yo guys soooo I have cancer, that is all TTYL ILY." First of all I don't really text like that, I mean I did seriously debate with myself whether to send "Yo I have cancer." But the TTYL and ILY so not me. ANYWAYS, last night upon my diagnoses I decided I would start a board on Pinterest as silly as that sounds. First there are some handy things out there that I could use in the future about this diagnoses but also I thought it would be a good way for some people to see it. I guess in a way it was the easy way out instead of me having to tell them, they would see it and have to ask me. To each his own when it comes to how you want to deal with this. For me the people really close to me were there since the beginning of testing and before the C word was even a possibility so it wasn't a total shock when I was diagnosed. But as for everyone else, all my friends in California and all my coworkers and anybody else that cared to know, how was I supposed to tell them without sounding selfish, as silly as that sounds. 

In my mind telling friends I had cancer was kinda like saying "Hey feel bad for me." I know my friends and family didn't think that when they found out but I didn't want to burden anybody with the C word. So for me to start a board in Pinterest started the fire. By the next morning I had text messages up the wazoo asking if I was okay, if I had cancer or if it was a family member. Its nice to know people care, even if that was the first time I had talked to them in AGES. From there people were texting each other. My cancer diagnoses spread like wild fire. 

This is also the time I started noticing the "Things you shouldn't say to a cancer patient." I'm sure it will get worse as this is really only the first day of this long process but already its annoying. I do know my friends and family are only trying to help so its okay to say the wrong thing, for now. I am sure I will have a blog about that alone in the future. At this point there are still a lot of people that don't know, including my coworkers. I feel when the time is right I will tell my coworkers until then I don't want them to treat me differently. I just started my position almost 3 months ago when I moved here and already they have noticed me having a lot of time off. I don't know if they are aware its for doctors appointments or not but either way I am sure they are not pleased. And I feel bad I have to miss work for these appointments but my health is more important than my job, so I will do what I have to do to win this battle. 

Update: I have an appointment with an Oncologist this Friday. I am hoping to get more details on this C word and find out when I can start chemo. I hear there is a possibility of more testing in my future such as a bone marrow biopsy and pet scans and more blood tests and of course my portacath surgery. For those that do not know a portacath is a port that is surgically inserted into your chest and that is where they will do the chemo and blood tests and supposedly it's the less painful way to do everything. Whelp until next time kiddos. 

The friend who holds your hand and says the wrong thing is made of dearer stuff than the one who stays away.