The time has come...

Well after 4 months I had my progress scan and according to my doctor I am on the right track. There was debate between a few doctors as to whether or not there was some visible cancer or not. Needless to say they would rather be safe than sorry. So I will finish my chemo treatments as planned and do radiation afterwards. My doctor seems to be very optimistic that after all my treatments I could be cured. I want nothing more than to be done with all of this and get my life back.

Of course when my doctor told me the good news all I could think was "nothing can stop me." I almost  beat cancer and am still alive, I can do anything I want. But after some time I started to worry about the future. What if I get my life back on track and get my own place and start work and then I relapse? Then what? I would again have to give up everything to go through treatment again. But someone did mention a good point to me, "You can't put your life on hold waiting and worrying for something that may not happen." Which is a good point. I can worry forever and not enjoy life to the fullest or I can just say fuck it and go back to being normal and hope for the best. 

I am so close to the finish line I can taste it. I can see it. I can feel it. It is time to get things rolling again. My only concern is going back to work while doing radiation. I have read a few different things and some people get too tired to handle day to day activities and others can manage. So I guess we will just have to see when it happens. But of course after all that radiation I will then worry about breast cancer, heart disease and heart damage. But again, I guess you can't worry about what may happen. 

I am mostly excited for my hair to grow back. I look so sick and weird with my scraggly hair, thinning eyebrows and 3 eyelashes. The only bonus to that is not having hair anywhere else on my body. I haven't had to shave anything in 4 months! It's like magic. I think I could rock the buzz cut once it is thick enough. I am pretty excited. I just hope my job doesn't mind my new look. 

I am thinking of starting a new tshirt fundraiser for the good news. I still have lots of medical bills to pay and my disability payments are getting smaller and smaller. Plus who doesn't like a cool tshirt?

Below is before and after scan pictures. On the left there are yellow and orange glowing spots which was cancer and on the right there are no visible glowing spots (other than my brain), which means I am pretty much cancer free.